A Drummer's Testament
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Ways of getting a wife; the age at which Dagbamba marry; responsibilities toward in-laws; how traditional Dagbamba marry; how Muslims marry; how chiefs marry; the life of chiefs' wives
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Contents outline and links by paragraph
Introduction
- 1. different ways to get a wife for Muslims and typical Dagbamba; drummers get wives easily
Dagbamba way: greeting or respecting an older person
- 2. young man can begin greeting an old person and helping him
- 3. old person will tell the boy's father that he will give him a wife
- 4. young man can be greeting an old woman with firewood or foodstuffs
- 5. old woman will tell the boy's father that she will give him a wife
- 6. the father and his brothers will send people to greet the old woman
- 7. to get a wife, have to respect and greet the people who have the woman
Examples: how Alhaji helped his brothers to get wives
- 8. how young Alhaji Ibrahim greeted an old woman his father used to help
- 9. when the woman died, her daughter gave a girl to Alhaji Ibrahim, who gave her to his brother
- 10. Alhaji Ibrahim also got a wife for his brother Sumaani
How Alhaji Ibrahim got his wives
- 11. how Alhaji Ibrahim befriended Marta with friendship money
- 12. befriending Ayishetu; Marta and Gurumpaɣa ask Alhaji Ibrahim to see their families
- 13. Alhaji Ibrahim consulted elders for advice; advised only to marry two and not three
- 14. Alhaji Ibrahim was working and was capable
- 15. how Alhaji Ibrahim married Marta first; given to him through Mangulana's father
- 16. Alhaji Ibrahim married Gurumpaɣa next
- 17. Ayishetu agrees for Alhaji Ibrahim to give her to Sumaani as a wife; their children
- 18. Alhaji Ibrahim's wives gave birth
Alhaji Ibrahim's respect
- 19. drummers do not suffer to get a wife; drummers have a good name
- 20. how Alhassan used Alhaji Ibrahim's name to get a wife
- 21. how Alhaji Ibrahim helps people greet the family of a girl; example of man from Bimbila
Typical Dagbamba: when a girl is promised
- 22. greet the family with calabash of cola and money; maalams pray
- 23. if the girl is still young, will remain with her parents; how they send to the husband's family
- 24. greetings and cola between the two families; how they talk
- 25. maalam called for prayers; the girl is promised; the husband's family returns home
- 26. girl in parents' house, the husband will send greetings, guinea fowls and yams during festival months
- 27. if someone in the wife's house dies, the husband will perform the funeral
The wedding and sending the wife to the husband's house
- 28. when girl reaches menstruation, they will set a day; Wednesday or Saturday
- 29. send the girl to the husband; led by a small girl and a young boy who carries a stick
- 30. new wife to room of a senior woman; slaughter a hen for the boy who brought the girl
- 31. next day, they send the boy and girl home with cola and money to share to the witnesses
- 32. husband must kill a hen to welcome her; she cooks and that night sleeps with the husband
How Muslims marry
- 33. different from typical Dagbamba; drumming at the amaliya's house
- 34. pay sadaachi and gather items for the leefɛ: send food; kanwa porridge
- 35. sadaachi amount can vary; sometimes flexibility with the leefɛ
- 36. women throw zabla night before the wedding
Tying the wedding
- 37. Sunday weddings are common, especially in towns; sometimes Thursday
- 38. husband's representatives and maalams at wife's house; sadaachi paid
- 39. cola for drummers; women dance at wedding house
- 40. bride stays inside house; in night, she is bathed and led to the husband's house
- 41. next day cook food; the ones who brought the wife go home with gifts
How chiefs get their wives
- 42. chiefs get many wives; did not pay; wives as gifts; bad girl can be given to a chief
- 43. formerly chiefs could catch women as wives; would not catch a drummer's wife or daughter
- 44. no longer catch women; search for wives like other people
Advice to newlyweds
- 45. advice to a daughter to respect the husband and his family
- 46. new husband should work to provide for the wife; no roaming or chasing women
Engaged women who have sex before they go to their husbands
- 47. typical Dagbamba used to send cola to wife's family to show was a virgin or not
- 48. formerly could be a case; if girl refused to show her lover, could be made a chief's wife
- 49. the case could result in debt for the person who had sex with the promised girl
- 50. most men would not complain; the girl can refuse him if he collects money as compensation
- 51. sometimes they would replace the girl who refused with her sister
Chiefs' courts and civil courts in such cases
- 52. at chief's house, whipping a girl who refused to name her lovers
- 53. those she named would face charges at the chief's court; debt imposed
- 54. after such a case, the marriage could stand or could be broken
Kidnapping and eloping
- 55. sometimes people kidnap a girl; a case for the chief; still happens in villages
- 56. in modern times, government courts overrule chief's courts; spoils the custom
- 57. sometimes the boy begs the court or the chief, and the elopement stands
- 58. Alhaji Ibrahim sometimes begs the fathers of stolen girls
Government courts versus chiefs' courts
- 59. government courts follow money and lies; spoiled custom
- 60. girls sometimes send their own case to the government courts; court rules for girl
- 61. civil courts say girls should choose husbands; the chiefs' courts are not to judge cases
- 62. chiefs not longer judge; civil courts can make incorrect decisions from bribes; spoil custom
- 63. Dagbamba chieftaincy has no strength; those with money cheat, and chiefs cannot act
Customary way of finding husbands for women: better to look at the family of the man
- 64. in Dagbamba custom, men who gave respect would get wives
- 65. in Islam, fathers give daughters away but don't force the girls; villagers hold older customs
- 66. if daughter refused, typical Dagbamba removed her from the family
- 67. now the parents ask the girl; many girls prefer the parents to find their husbands
- 68. the girl chooses a man, the parents can agree with or refuse her choice
- 69. the parents look at the family; refuse slave families, houses without food, even rich people
- 70. girls' choosing spoils custom; the father knows the family of the man better than the girl
- 71. custom has strength, but white men and government spoiled the custom
- 72. girls who choose often change their minds
- 73. formerly girls did not complain; modern girls now choose; more confusion
- 74. cannot compare custom to white man's ways; better to choose the husband's family
- 75. typical Dagbamba used to remove girls from the family or even curse them
Conclusion
- 76. transition to the talk of bachelors and women without husbands
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Proverbs and Sayings
Something which doesn't want you is the thing you will spend a lot to get.
I will put him into a house.
Truly, when they say an old person doesn't die, it doesn't mean anything. If there is a person with sense in a family, and the elder person of the family dies, it shows that the elder person has not died.
I have just seen you to be somebody like my father. That is why I am greeting you.
God will never put me into shame.
As an elder man gets a wife to give to a younger man, so too a younger man can get a wife to give to an elder man.
A person's good name gives him something.
Get this child, and she will be sweeping for you.
I have given this daughter to you to give her to your son, and she will be fetching water for your son to be drinking.
The sweetness of a marriage is food, and so may God let them get enough food to eat, and give them health, and give them clothes to wear, and give them children who will be good for them, and the children will follow the path of the Holy Prophet Muhammad.
If you give somebody a wife, you don't have to tell him to sleep with her.
An elephant has stepped on a trap.
As the chief is for the food and the soup, the chief is also holding me and my daughter, and so there is no need of sending me cola.
Giving respect shows many things.
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Dagbani words and other search terms
- Chiefs and elders
- Gbonlana (Gbɔŋlana)
- Wulana
- Musical terms
- Kulnoli
- Nagbiegu (Naɣbiɛɣu)
- Zamanduniya
- Names and people
- Abdul-Rahaman (Abdulai)
- Abdulai (Ibrahim)
- Adam (Alhasaan Mangulana)
- Alhaji Shahadu (Issa)
- Alhassan Lumbila
- Alhassan (Ibrahim)
- Ayishetu (wife of Sumaani)
- Fatawu (Ibrahim)
- Fati (wife of Abdul-Rahaman)
- Fati (Sumaani)
- Gurumpaɣa (wife of Alhaji Ibrahim)
- Harruna (Sumaani)
- (Alhaji) Ibrahim
- Kissmal (Ibrahim Hussein)
- Mahamadu (Sumaani)
- Mangulana (Alhaji Adam Alhassan)
- Marta (wife of Alhaji Ibrahim)
- (Alhaji) Mumuni
- Nanton Lun-Naa (Iddrisu)
- Sumaani
- Zuwera (Ibrahim)
- Zuweratu (Sumaani)
- Miscellaneous terms
- amaliya
- Buɣim Festival
- cedi, cedis
- Chimsi Festival
- Dagbani
- Damba Festival
- Eid' Festival
- fufu
- goonji, goonjis
- guinea corn
- housepeople
- kanwa
- kanwa kukogli (kanwa kukɔɣli)
- kagli (kaɣli)
- Kpini Festival
- leefe (leefɛ)
- maalam, maalams
- pesewa, pesewas
- pito
- Holy Qur'an
- Ramadan
- sadaachi
- sagim (saɣim)
- takubsi
- tigbirgu
- zabla
- Towns and places
- Bimbila
- Bolgatanga
- Dagbon
- Kintampo
- Kumasi
- Nalerigu
- Nanton
- Salaga
- Tishigu
- Voggo
- Yendi
- Cultural groups
- Dagbamba
- Dagban