A Drummer's Testament

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Chapter III-17:  How Dagbamba Marry

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Ways of getting a wife; the age at which Dagbamba marry; responsibilities toward in-laws; how traditional Dagbamba marry; how Muslims marry; how chiefs marry; the life of chiefs' wives



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Supplementary material

Images



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Contents outline and links by paragraph

Introduction

Dagbamba way:  greeting or respecting an older person

Examples:  how Alhaji helped his brothers to get wives

How Alhaji Ibrahim got his wives

Alhaji Ibrahim's respect

Typical Dagbamba:  when a girl is promised

The wedding and sending the wife to the husband's house

How Muslims marry

Tying the wedding

How chiefs get their wives

Advice to newlyweds

Engaged women who have sex before they go to their husbands

Chiefs' courts and civil courts in such cases

Kidnapping and eloping

Government courts versus chiefs' courts

Customary way of finding husbands for women:  better to look at the family of the man

Conclusion



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Proverbs and Sayings

Something which doesn't want you is the thing you will spend a lot to get.

I will put him into a house.

Truly, when they say an old person doesn't die, it doesn't mean anything. If there is a person with sense in a family, and the elder person of the family dies, it shows that the elder person has not died.

I have just seen you to be somebody like my father. That is why I am greeting you.

God will never put me into shame.

As an elder man gets a wife to give to a younger man, so too a younger man can get a wife to give to an elder man.

A person's good name gives him something.

Get this child, and she will be sweeping for you.

I have given this daughter to you to give her to your son, and she will be fetching water for your son to be drinking.

The sweetness of a marriage is food, and so may God let them get enough food to eat, and give them health, and give them clothes to wear, and give them children who will be good for them, and the children will follow the path of the Holy Prophet Muhammad.

If you give somebody a wife, you don't have to tell him to sleep with her.

An elephant has stepped on a trap.

As the chief is for the food and the soup, the chief is also holding me and my daughter, and so there is no need of sending me cola.

Giving respect shows many things.


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