A Drummer's Testament

Chapter III-13: Special Problems of Children

Difficulties of children; children and bad spirits; twins, orphans, relation to mother's house

9. bring different luck to parents; many people fear twins
10. differences: for typical Dagbamba, twins bring issues: constant soothsaying, slaughter goats; Muslims do not do anything special
11. twins from family lines
12. soothsaying for twins' names; twins as “people of the god”; check to see if twins will go to mother's family house
13. soothsaying to find what the twins want: nintugari, begging in the market
14. buying and maintaining goats for the twins
15. many issue for typical Dagbamba, but not for Muslims
16. special difficulties if one of the twins dies; don't say the twin is dead
17. special difficulties if twins are male and female
18. parents sometimes use medicine to kill twins
19. if child dies, image of a pot that has spilled water but not broken

20. problems of taking care of children all fall on the parents
21. mother's love is more than father's love
22. strength and importance of mother's side; also with other tribes
23. mother suffers more for a child; strengthens the bond
24. in Dagbon people don't ask or talk about someone's mother's house
25. similar strength of the uncle, especially the mother's brother with same parents

26. if a newborn's mother dies, soothsayers know which side will care for baby; respect for orphans
27. after a funeral, funeral elder shares the children on the father's side
28. small children stay with mothers; if remarry the step-father will take good care of the orphaned children as blessing; some people gather and take care of orphans
29. when the children grow, they return to father's side house

Everything has got separation and exceptions.

A pot of water was standing and has fallen down, leaving the pot.

Everything on this earth is changing, but we have never seen a child change a mother.

Fathers change, but a mother is not changing.

Where there is patience, there is no heartbreaking.